Earth Day!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Hi! I'm CrunchierThanThou!

Let me introduce myself! I'm Crunchier Mom. I know it's customary to send a Christmas letter at Christmas, but I am so awesome that I decided to write mine early. And here it is! What an adventure this year has been! Our organic goat dairy is really taking off, with orders for our artisanal cheeses pouring in from all over the globe. The Prime Minister of Sweden is stopping by next week for a tasting, to see if they want Crunchy Goat Dairy to be the official cheese of Sweden. I'm telling ya, it's one adventure after another. I sure hope I can get all the marker off the wall from my tiny artists before he gets here! LOL!

Basically, I'm on top of my game. Here's a list of what I'm into:

-Organic farming (duh, who isn't?)
-Intense Cardio and Pilates
-Bikram Yoga (look it up -- it's intense)
-Keeping my body fat percentage down
-Pole Dancing (gotta keep Mr. Crunchy interested, ya know?)
-Wine making
- Organic gluten free baking
-Setting up community gardens for impoverished towns in the Andes and Southeast Asia. I bring my children along and they learn a lot
-Organization! OMG I am such an organization nerd. Let me loose in the Container Store and there is no stopping me. Not a single thing is out of place in my whole house
-Using my MBA to run the most important business in the world: MY FAMILY.

Really, my family is the only thing that matters to me. I haven't cared about myself in five years. I just couldn't spend time or money on myself when my children could use a new pair of designer overalls and ergonomic walking shoes with little frogs and ladybugs embroidered on them. But it's not really a problem, because I'm loaded.

Next you'll be hearing from one of my friends. She's the best, except not as good as me. But pretty good. Good enough that our friendship isn't ruined by her jealousy.

We will also be talking about that infamous Time cover. Can't wait! Life is so exciting around here! All we do is have fun! Life is like a carnival every day since I had my kids! I never cry anymore at all ever! Except when I run out of organic wheat berries to mill into flour for my children's homemade breakfast bars. Then, I have been known to shed a tear. LOL!

Well, have to go -- the goats are having babies and they will only deliver if I am there to welcome their little "kids" into the world.


  1. My there ANYTHING you don't do absolutely fabulously???

  2. Not a thing! I am perfect in every way.